You can't lose them all : tales of a degenerate gambler and his ridiculous friends / Sal Iacono ; foreword by Jimmy Kimmel.

The fall of Trojanowski -- La dolce vita -- Banned from bingo -- A chip off the old block -- Bet the house -- A wrestling match made in heaven -- Shotgun! -- Don't read this story, it's gross -- Stone cold scam -- Rigged gig -- Let's muck a deal -- The mighty Kasay strikes out -- I do my pillow talking on the stage -- A catch-22 -- Riding the Romocoaster -- Nailed it -- Brad beats -- Good night, Jon Hamm -- Any way you slice it -- The five-year plan -- The Botox bet -- Don't pass David -- A losing proposition -- The Bobby Knight of Elwood, Long Island -- A prickly rose -- Harry Harry hippo -- And the winner is...not me -- The worldwide leader in picks -- Hail to the chiefs (-5.5) -- Mount Oddsmore -- A hot dog hoodwinking -- Hedging your bets: an irrational user's guide -- Escape from the black hole -- The wisdom of the gridiron -- Always end on a low note.

"Over the last forty years, Cousin Sal has made bets with doctors, lawyers, teachers, agents, bookies, writers, comedians, radio DJs, tv producers, baseball players, front office executives, bandleaders, movie stars, publicists, weed lab owners, hedge fund operators, and even professional wrestlers. From his early days growing up in Brooklyn and Long Island flipping baseball cards to now hosting podcasts and TV shows and managing several offshore accounts we don't talk about, Cousin Sal has truly become the average American sports fan's go to source for gambling tips. So here's how not to do it... With hilarious tales of love and loss, winning and (a lot) of losing, crazy family and fatherhood, and a life saga that inspired the Phil Collins' song, "Against All Odds," Cousin Sal has now written THE Vegas super-system, MIT-algorithmic, sharp-approved book for how to gamble like a pro -- or at least not how not to go broke and lose your kids to Child Protective Services"--