Thirty thousand bottles of wine and a pig called Helga: a not-so-perfect tree change / Todd Alexander.

Prologue missing in action: one pig -- The holiday home from Hell -- Desperately seeking : cushions and cookbooks -- Maybe Jeff needs a change, too -- I wan to go to here -- Olives and grapes and dams, oh my! -- How hard can it be? -- Out baptism of fire -- What's that in the dam? -- Girls (and boys) just want to have fun -- Getting my Maggie on -- Crop it sweet -- Building for our future -- The first sip -- Welcome to unemployment -- The arrival of Rodney and Boulogne -- I shall name you Winston -- Massaging a chicken in a warm water bath -- When a father calls -- Tales of the unexpected: a farmer's life -- Helga Hagatha van Hoggett -- A reality self-check -- Our little army -- Epilogue missing in action : one pig -- Easy recipes.

Once I was the poster boy for corporate success, but now I'm crashing through the bush in a storm in search of a missing pig. How the hell did we end up here? Todd and Jeff have had enough of the city. Sick of the daily grind and workaday corporate shenanigans, they throw caution to the wind and buy 100 acres in the renowned Hunter Valley wine region, intent on living a golden bucolic life and building a fabulous B&B, where they can offer the joys of country life to heart-weary souls. Todd will cook, Jeff will renovate. They have a vineyard, they can make wine. They have space, they can grow their own food. They have everything they need to make their dreams come true. How hard can it be?